How Our Reactions Shape Our Dogs' World

Have you ever stopped to think how your own reactions impact your dog?

Subtle actions, like tightening the lead when you see something ahead, can completely change how your dog interprets the situation. That small movement might tell them there’s something to worry about—even if there isn’t. And just the opposite, a loose lead can be an indication that you are relaxed.

It’s not just on walks, either. Think about how we respond to sounds at home, like the doorbell or the click of a gate. During lockdown, when doorbells rang and nobody rushed to answer, many dogs learned not to react—it showed them that those sounds weren’t as important as they thought.

The problem is that our own reinforcement history means that we are reacting in the ways that we do. We tense when we see another dog. We get frustrated when our dog barks at the door. We tighten our puppy’s lead so they can jump on a stranger. Because it has all happened before and we want to prevent it. But here’s the big thing: before our dogs can feel calm, we need to feel safe. If we’re uneasy, tense, or distracted, our dogs pick up on that.

They’re incredibly attuned to us. Sometimes, the calm and confidence we want from our dogs starts with the calm and confidence we find in ourselves. Sometimes, without realising it, we overwhelm our dogs.  We wonder why they are not calm, but you are over-loading them with information so that it’s difficult for them to do.

It might be the shuffle of our feet, the constant adjusting of the lead (I often call knitting with the lead), or the chatter of direction filling the space between us.

All this noise—whether physical or verbal—can confuse our dogs when they're looking to us for calm direction.

These small, unexpected movements often send mixed signals. Your dog might feel that something is wrong or that there’s danger, even when everything is fine. It’s easy to do—especially when we’re distracted or anticipating something ourselves. 

When with clients I often notice things they haven’t notice themselves.

The simplest and most effective thing we can do is to:

Take a deep breath …

Ground your feet …

And pause.

Notice your movements and what your hands are doing. How you use your voice.

This doesn't just help your dog stay calm; it helps you stay present too. 

Ultimately, calm starts with us. By becoming aware of our own movements, reactions, and energy, we can create a more peaceful and predictable environment for our dogs. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present. Small, intentional changes in how we interact with our dogs, whether it’s loosening the lead, quieting our chatter, or pausing to breathe, can open the door to better communication and deeper trust.

So next time you’re out together, slow down, take that deep breath, and see how much lighter the moment feels for both of you.

Calm isn’t just taught—it’s shared. 🌿🐾